


Let Me Go

by abstractvalkyrie



Category: Black Widow - Fandom, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Character Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, Male-Female Friendship, Natasha Romanoff Deserves Better, Other, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, tony stark deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 07:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abstractvalkyrie/pseuds/abstractvalkyrie
Summary: In which Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff are the two who end up going to Vormir.





	Let Me Go

** _"IN ORDER TO TAKE THE STONE, YOU MUST LOSE THAT WHICH YOU LOVE. AN EVERLASTING EXCHANGE. A SOUL, FOR A SOUL."_ **

Nebula in the Avengers compound had warned everyone about the risks of retrieving the Soul Stone to defeat Thanos. Tony and Natasha remembered her explaining the story of Gamora, how their own father sacrificed the only daughter he ever loved to gain power of the world. To sacrifice half of the universe, to restore balance to everything equal and beautiful. But as the two looked down at the bottom of the cliff, only then did they realize how different the circumstances were if you're the pair standing at the top.

A soul for a soul. It couldn't have been different?

"Why here?" Tony questioned, looking at the place around him. It was absolutely beautiful, the most stunning place he had ever laid his eyes upon. "Why does it have to be here?" 

"There's worse places to go, where else are we going to get a view like this?" 

"I'll think of something." 

And even with a view like this, the man knew this place would never exactly be perfect. The world he lived on wasn't perfect, but there were some moments where life just felt like it. Another lunch day with Morgan, Pepper and Natasha with board games afterwards. Working in the lab with Peter and watching him succeed at something he had failed at so many times before. Vormir may have won in looks, but he doubted it ever succeeded in good memories. For anyone, even Thanos. 

If Tony jumped, he knew Natasha would be able to see Earth once again. Have another lunch day with Pepper and Morgan, with the view of the lake from outside. Maybe Steve could take his place at the table, get to know Morgan and watch her grow up to be the young woman Tony always dreamed of her to be. Natasha had a chance at a new life after this, and he was ready to give her just that. 

"I'll do it," Tony claimed, looking down at Natasha. Her eyebrows were furrowed, the wind blowing strands of red hair in her face. "I'll make the sacrifice, you can get the stone." 

"Tony, no. You can't." She shook her head at him, a line of tears ready to spring out from her eyes. "I'll make the jump, you get the stone and defeat Thanos. Make him pay for the pain he has caused." 

Families ripped apart because of the snap, countless graveyards and memorials left in his wake. He may have gotten rid of half, but the death toll on Earth was more than that. Suicide rates went up on the charts, planes and cars crashing in the streets. Disasters everywhere were happening by the second, Tony just wasn't there to see it. He was on a different planet, the grief of Peters disappearance weighing heavily on his shoulders. The memory of Stephen Strange. 

How was it that out of 14,000,605 possibilities, only one would turn out right? Tony gulped. This better be it, this better be fucking it. When he jumps, this better be the one where they win.

"Natasha, you don't want to do that. You have the rest of us, the family." The Avengers, they are her family, her home. Why can't she just agree and go on with her life, set up some nice funeral and know that he made his best effort to make it work? "You have a home, you're ready to leave that all?" 

"You think I want to do it? I'm trying to save your life you idiot." Natasha bit her lip, sniffling before wiping her eyes. "You have a life too, you know? You can't give up yours that easily either." 

"I'm giving mine to you. Giving you a fair chance, why can't you be grateful?" 

All Tony needed to do was distract her, maybe for even three seconds. Enough time to get him off in a sprint. Even through their height difference, Natasha was much faster than Tony sent it came to running. He was in his suit most of the time. Flying. If he ran now, the woman standing in front of him would beat him by far. 

"I can't be grateful because I don't want to lose you, Tony. None of us do." 

The red in her ledger would be gone. Cleared. But to Tony, the red in her ledger never existed. Natasha Romanoff was a pure being, even through the past and through the mistakes she had made in her lifetime. The red in Natasha Romanoffs ledger never existed, she had no reason to jump. She had a reason to live. More than one, probably millions. Sunsets and drunk nights, hot cocoa next to the fireplace and inappropriate card games with friends. Sparring with a teammate, running late at night and getting to see the sunset.

"And the same applies to you." He said with a gulp, pushing her shoulders so she fell back onto the ground. With sudden seconds to spare, Tony made his sprint, his last sacrifice. The wind against his face pushing back his hair, the feel of fear and exhilaration equally mixed in his bones. The edge of the cliff was right there, all he had to do was leap. It was almost done, the battle was almost over. 

And as he pushed off with his legs, two arms grabbed Tony from behind and pulled him down to the ground. With the fall and a shooting pain in his back, Tony knew he had to act fast. Natasha was already getting up off of the ground, making her way to the edge. He reached as far as he could, grabbing her ankles before the woman could make a move. He will win this fight, and he will jump. It has to end that way, it has to. 

But Natasha proved to be faster on the ground than Tony was, quickly pinning him on the ground. Tony was out of breath, trying to regain it as she held him there. Another diversion, another idea. Why couldn't these types of things come to his brain quicker? 

“Not so fast, Stark." Natasha smiled sadly, looking down at Tony. He noticed only then the new tears running quickly down her face. If the circumstances were different, he would have given her a hug, tried to sort this out. But this wasn't a different circumstance, this was life or death — and he didn't want to live this time. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this, take me for my word." 

“Is this how it ends, Romanoff? You and me, fighting to win our own death?"

Tony flipped them over while he had the chance, using all the strength in him to hold her down to the ground. He continued to speak, wanting to make sure that his last words were worthwhile. "One of us has to live this through, to make a life out of what we have. And that's going to be you, Natasha. It's a one time deal, take it." 

“I should've done this a long time ago." Natasha shook her head, and punched Tony square in the jaw. He groaned at the impact as she got off of him, making her way towards the edge. Ignoring all signs that his body told him to lay back down, he got back up, running again towards her. He could do this all day, he could do this for eternity. As long as it ended how he wanted it to, as long as she survived. 

But Natasha was already leaping off, and Tony couldn't have acted faster in that moment. A grappling hook in his hand (from Rocket, who put in there in place of a cool pistol the raccoon wanted) he latched it on to the edge, gripping onto the rope tight and jumping right off after her. All of it only happened in a matter of seconds, though to the man, it felt like minutes. How excruciatingly long it took him to grab her hand, how long it took him to catch up, how long it took him to let his mind grip around reality. 

Natasha Romanoff was hanging right above her death, and he was the only thing in between those two things. 

She was breathing heavily as she looked up at Tony, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Tony, its okay." 

"It's not okay!" He screamed at her, sobs starting to come from his lips. Since when was this the definition of okay? "This will never be okay! Keep ahold of my hand. I got you, I got you." 

Tears streaked his face as he looked down at her, the same look on her features also. Who knew it would end like this? Tony knew that this trip to Vormir was likely to end in something bad, that this whole plan to defeat Thanos was going to have its casualties — but why take Natasha? Couldn't it have been him? 

Out of every single fucking possibility, Natasha is the one who ends up dying in the end? For what? Tony knew he should have been in her place right know, he should be the one saying it's alright, he should be the one hanging onto dear life. 

"Tony, it's okay. Let me go." 

"No, I don't want to, I don't wanna. Natasha, you don't understand. I can't. You can't. We can't. You can't do this to yourself, you can't risk your whole life and expect this all to come out as okay. You can't!" Tony was rambling, getting as much words out of his mouth as he could in those final seconds. He wasn't going to be the one to die today on Vormir. It would never be okay. 

With a push of her foot, Tonys grip on Natasha's wrist was gone. She was falling. 

Tony was screaming, tears blurring his eyes and blabbered words coming from his mouth. He couldn't hear himself screaming for Natasha anymore, he couldn't see past his own reaching hand. Tears dripped down his face and into the air, soft sobs turning into loud cries. 

Natasha Romanoff was dead, and Tony Stark was responsible for it. 

——

Tony woke up in water, gasping for air, one arm reaching out for non-existent things. In realization he sat straight up, gulping down an urge to sob, fighting back the tears in his eyes. One of his fists was clenched together, a soft orange light coming from inside. He looked at it in horror, not wanting this nightmare to be true. 

He opened his hand slowly. 

It was the Soul Stone, resting in the middle of his palm. 

Tony choked back a sob. Natasha had done it all, and he would make Thanos pay. 

——

"**_AND I.... AM IRON MAN."_**

The snap, a blackout. 

A sudden world of orange formed around Tony, as he stood in water that only went up to his ankles. Is this what death is? Surely not. Death had to be more painful than this, more dreading and slow than what was around him. This wasn't death, this was some sort of dream. 

The man looked around him, stunned to see a desk from not too far away. Walking towards it, he immediately knew the red head of hair and stupid smirk. It was Natasha. But what was she doing here, what was he doing here? Tony was too confused to even form words, his mouth was hanging right open. 

Natasha sat in her office chair, hands behind her head and feet perched up onto the desk. She looked relaxed, at peace even. A freshly opened jar of peanut butter sat next to her computer, a PBJ on top of a napkin setting in her lap. The smile on her face was enough to say anything. This Natasha wasn't real, or at least Tony thought she wasn't. Natasha died. A soul for a soul. 

“Natasha, what did you do?" Tony asked her, a crack evident in his voice. 

"We had to take a stand." She explained calmly. 

"We did stand. I won. We won." A tear threatened to roll down his face, but Tony wiped his eye before it could. Natasha took her stand, she did whatever it took to defeat Thanos and his army. The red in her ledger was wiped clean, the memory of her lingering in everyone's minds. He hoped to dear god that she knew he had snapped, how they had really won. Natasha deserved to know. 

“And you are better because of it, I am better because of it." 

_You were always better, Natasha_. 

He nodded at her with a small smile, deciding to say quiet. 

"Are you alright, Tony?" 

"Always."

The vision disappeared, Natasha Romanoff was gone. And so was he.


End file.
